Reasons I Deserve Breakfast in Bed

1. My daughter has spent every cent she's had for the past several years on stuffed animals, yet I still have to cover all of them with a blanket each night so they're not "looking" at her when she's sleeping.

2. I know all the retailers that make pants for ultra-skinny kids and socks without seams.

3. I de-ticked the dog AND removed a broken wire from my kid's braces today with kitchen scissors.

4. I spent two days tracking down some non-skanky shorts  for my girls.

5. Every morning, I make braids for my daughter that are tight, tight, tight. I also spray tea tree oil water in my kids' hair to repel lice (old wives' tale? probably).

6. Barf. I clean it up. Frequently.

7. I got an e-mail message from the Fairfax County Public Library saying there was poop on the "Invasion of the Gym Class Zombies" book and they were charging me $18 for it. I am pretty sure it did not come from my house, but the book drop. Then again, how much of an ass will I look like fighting that? So, I'm paying it.

8. I've lived in four places in the past year with the closets and kitchens getting progressively tinier.

9. I've saved a lot money for the family by buying stuff on sale. Yesterday alone I saved about $65 on a hair-be-awesomer product. Mitch always has a nice grimace-y smile when I greet him in the evenings by saying, "Guess how much I saved today?"

10. I have moral, kind, empathetic, and funny children. And I want them to slave away making me a meal for a change.

Happy Mother's Day to my own awesome mom,  and to all you lovely mothers out there.