Brazil, will you go with me?

Circle your answer:

• Yes
• No
• Maybe

In honor of Valentine's Day, I've decided to make a little Junior High-style Valentine for Brazil. Not sure if Brazil will be my boyfriend or not, but we have been flirting A LOT lately, and Brazil did put his hand in the back pocket of my jeans when we were walking together last week. Also, I may or may not have let Brazil see my bare arms out in public, so you be the judge. It hasn't always been puppies and rainbows with me and Brazil. We've had a pretty rocky time of it, in fact. For example, Brazil has some frat buddies I can't stand being around. They're constantly buzzing in my ears and getting drunk on my blood.  Also, Brazil has been keeping me from being with many of my loved ones, and I can't help but feel resentful about that.  However, Brazil has been slowly trying to win his way in to my heart, and I confess that I've found myself sucked in by his charms.  I've even made Brazil a little list of things I love about him.  Let me count the ways...

Your weather.  Oh, how I love your warm, warm days and nights and beautiful sunshine and gorgeous thunderstorms and torrential downpours.  Rarely too hot, rarely too cold. Although I confess to wearing my Corn Palace sweatshirt when it dips below 72 degrees.

Your beautiful birds. Toucans, owls, and parrots in the backyard? Yes, please.

Your parking thugs.  I laugh every time I go into a parking lot and a guy will give me the thumbs up, signaling that he will 'keep my car from harm' for the low, low price of a few reais. 

Monkeys. What can I say?  They're adorable and they melt my cold, black heart whenever they wander into the yard.

Your pace.  Brazilians now how to r-e-l-a-x.  And that is something I'm good at as well, so I think we are a compatible couple that way.

Your love of children.  Children are welcome everywhere, any time of day or night. Most restaurants have playgrounds, and if they don't, no one seems to mind a few kids running around while they're eating.

Mango trees wherever you look. And lime, banana, avocado, and more mango.

Your friendly peeps. Aside from the aforementioned frat buddies, that is.

The crazy things you can buy on the side of the road.  Towels, food, drinks, brooms, garbage bags, flags, hammocks, scary clown dolls, electrified tennis rackets for killing frat buddies, you name it. Well, except stuff you can't get here, which brings me to my next point.

You are making me very resourceful, Brazil.  I can now make my own sourdough bread, english muffins, bagels, and pita bread. I never throw anything out, because I might need it and probably won't be able to get it when that time comes. You're good for me that way.

Your creatures. They're amazing, and at times, terrifying. I've learned to never pour flour or rice blindly into a recipe bowl, and I've gotten practically blasé about finding a bag full of crawlies. I watched a colony of leaf-cutter ants take down my new jasmine plant within hours of putting it in the ground. I've also seen spiders so big that my dog barks at them. Would I say your creatures are a plus or a minus on this love note?  Mais ou menos. We hate getting bit, but we are seeing some pretty amazing wildlife that we would never see back home.

And the last thing I love about you, but certainly not the least, Brazil, is that I get to buy lots of cute sandals to make up for not getting to wear my boots anymore. 

Now, I'm not saying I won't dump you when a shiny new country comes along, especially if he has sharp cheddar. I'm just being honest, here. So, what do you say, handsome?  Will you be my Valentine? I know my husband won't mind if I two-time him with you, because he's wanted to bring you into our relationship for months now. He's kinky that way.

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The End of Summer Vacation

Yesterday we took our three youngest children hiking at Jardim Botânico while Jack stayed home for his last day of sleeping in. We went with the intent to find a geocache, which we did (and got covered in ticks in the process), but there were so many creatures and things to see that the geocache was largely forgotten.

The look on Olivia's face is because there was a sign on the trail in portuguese with a giant viper on it. She was terrified of getting eaten by a viper or one of the crazy spiders we saw.

After a while of remaining alive, she adopted a better mood. Especially when several families of monkeys came by to say hello.

 No idea what was in that hole, and no one was too keen to put their hand in, either.

 Random caterpillar shot Grace snapped.

Not sure why Grace took this ant pic, as on any given day this scene can be found somewhere in our house.

Mitch and I celebrated and the children mourned the last day of summer vacation with a traditional Brazilian barbecue, and then off to bed nice and early for my little darlings.

And here they are, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at the crack of dawn this morning:

 Yes, I locked them out of the gate. I didn't want to take a chance that they'd sneak back in.

See ya, suckers!



I sent Mitch off to return the 3rd grade classroom goldfish that we kept alive for six weeks (I know! I can't believe it either) and came in to my blissfully empty house. After doing some chores, I put on my workout clothes and headed back out to take the dog for a walk around the lake. This was the scene that greeted me:

 That's a two foot wide trench directly in front of my house, about five feet deep. No notice, warning, nothing. And the hilarious part is, the workers have disappeared. Oh, Brazil, you so funny!  Well, I'm off to find some kind of plank to throw accross it so my children can get in the house this afternoon.





Sick

I've been sick all week. Yesterday I wandered outside in my delirium and stepped on a lizard with my bare foot.

Surprisingly, I didn't even shriek, but I think I may have become desensitized to Brazilian creatures. And not only from the ginormous cockroach incident, either. The other night I poured myself a bowl of cereal, and when I poured in the milk, hordes of tiny ants tried to escape the flood up the sides of the bowl. I'm feeling a little better today, so I went online to check my Amazon account and see what items haven't arrived from the North Pole yet.

I was somewhat surprised to find that in my fevered state I'd ordered a 36-pack of fake mustaches last night. I was able to cancel them and get the 12-pack instead, because really, who needs 36 fake mustaches?

Roach

When we lived in Seattle, a favorite haunt of ours was the Tropical House at the Woodland Park Zoo. There was an exhibit of Brazilian Cockroaches that would absolutely make your skin crawl, even if you were a bug lover. Well, suckahs, I don't need to shell out cold, hard cash anymore to see giant, creepy, crawly bugs. I just have to wait for them to crawl out of my shower drain.

Don't hate me.

We named him Spike