Thanks for the Chunk Ham, Jack, it's just what I wanted!
Like she needs another reason to open a can of Whoopass.
Do rags from Olivia (the kids have the tradition of getting each other gag gifts, which they open on Christmas Eve along with new jammies for everyone).
Santa had a tough time finding this Dog Academy Playset, which was the only thing Olivia wanted this year (besides the fourteen other things on her list, I mean). Seamus is ready for his training! Thankfully, he's not hungry, since he already snacked on the Baby Jesus and one of the Wise Guys from the nativity set (Now they're extra hol(e)y! Badum-bum), or he might be chewing on that tasty looking Dalmation.
Jack assured me that this Handsome Sweater was his favorite gift, much better than a stupid ole' electric guitar.
Nicely done this year! We were worried you wouldn't be able to find the Dog Academy Playset. You must have some pretty internet-savvy elves up there who don't mind paying $14 for shipping. It's also nice that you get to take all the credit for Christmas Miracles and I get the credit for Handsome Sweaters and pajamas. I'm not complaining, mind you. I love my new Kindle, so a big thanks for that. I also wanted to take a moment to really thank you for giving my teenager an electric guitar with an amp, and for finally giving my pop star daughter a karaoke machine with disco lights. What I'm trying to say, Santa, is that you totally rock. Jerk.