Feeding a Teenager

It's been a trying week.  Mitch is in DC learning about the evil that men do, and I am home learning about the evil that viruses do.  Or mosquitos.  My girls are sick, sick, sick.  It could be Dengue or the flu, but since there is no cure for either, we've decided to simply hunker down and ride it out.  Today is the first day that their fevers are below 102, so I'm optimistic.  Between caring for them and trying to work from home, I haven't been up to making my usual arsenal of foods for the family.  On the bright side, with Mitch away, who's going to complain that I set two rotisserie chickens on the counter and let the kids tear it apart with their fingers for dinner last night?  Okay, I admit that was a low point.

Jack is not impressed with my lack of kitchen skills this week, and I am super-excited to see how he fares in college next year:

"Mom, do we have any bread?"

"Yes, there's some on the counter."

"No, that's store bread.  Where's the homemade bread?"

"I didn't make any this week, you'll just have to use store bread."

"What am I, an animal?"

And then he proceeded to pour himself six bowls of cereal rather than eat the offensive store bread.  It's not like I haven't tried to teach him to cook, he just refuses to learn.  The other three kids love to cook. I'm sure he'll survive, but it will be interesting as he won't eat ramen noodles or any other convenience food besides cereal.  He and a friend invited a few girls over to his friend's house for a barbecue a few weeks ago.  I asked if he wanted me to show him how to make a few dishes, and he was all, "No, I've got it covered."  When I asked how it went and what they ate, he said it hadn't gone very well.  The girls weren't that impressed with their "meal", which apparently consisted of a slab of beef.  And nothing else.

Handshake

Mitch's project is coming to an end here in Brasilia.  Many of you already know where his next assignment is going to be, what with all the carrying-on and whatnot around here. Anyway, he finally got his official cable (it's called a handshake in the Foreign Service), and I can't exactly say I'm "happy" to report that he is headed to....

Kabul, Afghanistan

 

Without us.  For one year.  The kids and I will remain in Brasilia.  Are we excited?  Nope. Of course, not. But if you know us at all, you know we weighed every option very carefully before we came to this decision.  I'm not going to go into the reasons, because they are only important to us, but I will ask this.  Please don't judge us (behind our backs is totally fine, just don't get all judgy to my face, yo). Please don't get all weepy-eyed at me, because I'm a cry-baby already and I don't need any added incentive to let the waterworks flow. Please don't say things to me like, "I would/could never let my husband leave me and my children for a year/go to a warzone!"  These are just a few examples of things I've already heard.

I don't want to finish this post on a downer, though, so here's a list of things we are looking forward to in the coming year:

• Mitch will get to come home three times during the tour for three weeks each visit. 
• Jack will get to graduate with his class and (hopefully) complete his IB Diploma.
• Breakfast for dinner!
• I won't have to read my Kindle under the covers. I will also claim the middle of the bed.
• I hear you can get some pretty cool rugs in the Middle East
• The girls are looking forward to getting Burka Barbies. Okay, no, they aren't. But I totally want one.
• People will think we have big balls. Or are batshit crazy.  Either way.
• I might finally learn how to check the air pressure in the car tires. Or, and this plan is just formulating now, I might stand at the embassy gas thingie with a sad, "my husband is in Afghanistan and I'm all alone" face and get someone else to do it for me out of pity. 
• I will use what I'm sure is to be my new favorite excuse for getting out of things: "I'm sorry, I can't possibly come to your cat's birthday party.  You see, my husband is serving in Afghanistan." 
• I get to keep my job. Unless I get fired for letting the eff word slip in my column.  But then, I'll be all, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to use the eff word. My husband is serving in Afghanistan."  You see how it works?
• Mitch never had a sandbox as a kid.

Badum-bump.  Thank you, and I'll be here all year!

Iguacu Falls

We just got back from spending a week at Iguacu Falls in Brazil, Argentina, and a tiny little bit of Paraguay. We had an amazing time, I got eaten alive, and we will never forget it. I'm way too lazy to write about it again, but I did write about it here if you want to hear about my Honey Baked Ham feet.  Here are a few of the 650 photos we snapped:

 

 

Banana splits poolside were an afternoon ritual. For the kids, that is. I enjoyed my calories in liquid form.

Jack and Henry working on putting me in an early grave.

Coatis-Ick.

I'm wearing a bun because like an idiot, I flat-ironed my hair that morning. Everything was covered in a fine mist from the falls the moment we stepped into the park. I looked like I had a 3 foot afro.

Jungle Tour

Getting ready to go under the falls in a boat.  Way fun!

The marker where Brazil, Argentina, and Paraguay meet.

Caiman

Just a few of the many birds we saw.

Requitsite photo ops from the bird park

Jack trying to decide if he should get this stylish coat at a street fair.

Olivia. 90 degrees and extreme humidity, but alas, apparently she was feeling foxy.

Largest dam in the world!
 

Easter

Okay, so do you guys remember when I was whining about my kids' outfits when they had their photos taken with Santa?  I wasn't going to let that happen again, so when the Easter breakfast at the Ambassador's residence came up this weekend, I was ready.  The only problem was, I had to get there before the kids even woke up to help set up, but I gave Mitch strict instructions to make sure they looked decent.  Anyway, I was too busy to get a photo of them with the Easter Bunny, but I got some other pics so you could see what they wore: 

 

Too bad you can't see her shredded knees, and I don't think she even wore shoes.

Argyle socks plus orange and teal Vans are in for Easter this year. Apparently.

Meanwhile, my own traitorous husband hogged this beautiful baby while I was busy.
Did I mention that I think working is dumb?

 At any rate, I think everyone had a great time.  We have a lot of little kids at this post, and it was very cute seeing them hunt for eggs. They also had a great time doing the egg race, because egg races are for LITTLE KIDS.  Too bad most of the diplomats from US Embassy Brasilia didn't get the memo:




Look at all the sad little kids sitting down in the background, waiting for their turn at the egg race.  

Rio

From the moment we landed in Brazil in 2011, Mitch has been trying to get me to go to Rio with him. Without the kids.  He goes there all the time for work, but I've never been.  I've also never left the kids before, because I'm a little bit psycho.  Anyway, a few weeks ago, he walked into the house and handed me my non-refundable plane ticket.  I started working out a childcare plan and when Jack saw how much I was going to pay a Brazilian empregada to stay with the kids, he was all, "I'll do it for half that amount of money".  And, because I feel like he'd be doing all the work anyway, and because I'm psycho, I agreed. So, four kids, alone for four days.  Granted, one of them was more mature than me, but I'm at least a better cook. I made all their meals and packed my bags.

We had an awesome time.  Mitch picked a gorgeous hotel on Copacabana beach, a stone's throw from Ipanema.  And everyone at the hotel spoke English, but I found myself using my portuguese a lot, so I could set myself apart from the loud Americans.  Because, I'm native now, you know?  We hired a guide to show us around Rio (not the famous stuff, but cool, out-of-the-way places, and of course, tons of architecture) the first day, which was amazing and exhausting.  Then, we lazed around the rest of the time, gorging ourselves on seafood and caipirinhas.  One weird thing, every night at dinner (around 9:30-10pm because I'm native now, did I tell you?), I broke out in hives and my eyes glued shut.  Last night was the worst, because my throat kind of closed up a little.  Nothing a little lot of antihistamine couldn't clear up, though. I refuse to believe that I'm allergic to Rio.

The kids did great without us. Jack even organized a treasure hunt for chocolate gold coins left by the "Leprechaun" on St. Paddy's Day and played tooth fairy to Olivia, who had the misfortune of losing a molar.

More about our trip to Rio here, and here.

 I can't begin to describe how much I loved Rio, so here's a handful of pics from our trip:



Neimeyer's MAC Museum in Niteroi

Inside of Monastery of São Bento



Outside of Monastery of São Bento built in 1590!


 



View from Parque da Cidade



Jurujuba-fishing village



Selaron Stairs



Random cuties playing in front of their house.

We waited all day for Christ the Redeemer to come out of the clouds. Turns out, we had to get high enough to see that he was above the clouds! Rio below.






Street vendor



Our hotel balcony, where we had a three hour lunch while watching beachgoers at Copacabana



Art from the Hippie Fair

Pão de Açúcar



Our mom and dad went to Rio and all we got were these lousy  tank tops.

I'm Not Really Here, I Just Stopped By to Drop Off Some Links

Nothing much has been happening in Brazil these days, the kids are going to school and we're going to work (Can you believe I haven't been fired yet? And they don't even care if it's the same old crap I write on here).  I do have a little announcement coming up, but we're waiting until it's official, so stay tuned.  I mean, don't stay tuned by hanging around here, because it's boring, but go do fun stuff and I'll let you know.  How does that sound?  Like I've had too much wine?  WINK! ;-)

Even when nothing's going on, I still have to write for work, so I wrote about our car dying, a ring I bought but didn't deserve, and the shitty haircuts our dog has been getting.

School Uniform

Alternative title: How to Get Around the Societal Dictates of The Man.

5K.

Today all six of us went to the embassy bright and early.  Mitch went to work, because, duh, it's Saturday. The rest of us participated in our first 5K.  I don't mind telling you that I won the whole thing in my division (44 year-olds born in November with blonde hair, four kids and from the great state of Washington).  Don't hate me because of my physical fitness.

It was a charity event benefitting children with cancer here in Brazil.  The kids all had a great time.

 

 I got lapped by each of my spawn. Whatever, I didn't want to make them feel bad by passing them.

 

Henry and Grace both ran much of the way.  I was very proud, resting in the shade and taking important photos. Henry dropped behind his buddy Adam, but fortunately found a new friend to run alongside. 

Olivia on the right, and I totally saw her skip a couple roundabouts. 

 

Jack sure has cute friends.  

 

Last week was carnaval, and we went to the Samba Parade, but I didn't write about it and I have very few photos, because my camera fell about thirty feet off the bleachers to its death.  Anyway, there were tons of butts and fancy costumes and it was totally worth going, even though my car died.  Dead, as in, I need a new alternator and I have to wait weeks and weeks for the part to arrive from the U.S.   If you want, you can read all about it here, because if there's one thing I enjoy doing, it's spreading my misery to as many people as possible.

 

 

That camera took crappy pictures, anyway. 

Bom Carnaval, Brazil

It's Carnaval here in Brazil, and do you know what that means?  Well, yes, it does mean boobs and butts, but that's not what I meant. I'm talking about another week off of school for my darling children. Since my husband works seventy days a week, the kids and I will be enjoying spending a lot of time together at home instead of partying in Rio. But I'm not bitter. I welcome the opportunity, because it's been WEEKS since my kids were home for the long summer break. Jack's band has barely had a chance to practice since school started back up, so they're planning on catching up during the break. Don't hate me because I've got free live music at my house 24/7.

The end of Carnaval on Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent, and even though we are no longer practicing Catholics, it's still kind of fun to think of things to give up for Lent.

Mitch:  What are you giving up for Lent?

Kate: My sunny disposition.

Mitch:  You cannot give up that which you do not have.

Kate:  Shut up, as*hole.

Mitch:  **crickets (and a smirk)

Valentine's Day is also coming up, and although I think Valentine's Day sucks, I wrote about it for work and even made up my own special valentines, which you can print out and use for yourself, if you're so inclined. They're very romantical!

Math

Grace:   "Jack!"

Grace:  "JAAAACK!"

Me: "What is it Grace?"

Grace: "Nothing.  I just need Jack."

Grace:  "JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"

Jack, from the depths of the house:  "What?!"

Grace:  "I need some help with my homework!"

Me:  "I can help you, Grace."

Grace:  "No, that's okay, mom.  It's math."

So, that's nice.