Barfway

Since moving to Virginia, my kids have been on awesome field trips to Gunston Hall, the Kennedy Center, and the US Mint.  Henry's class will soon be going to Jamestown and Colonial Williamsburg.  So, when Grace and Olivia came running into the house last week excited about their first field trip, I got excited too.

Olivia: "The second graders are going on a field trip next week and we need lots of moms and dads to come!" 

Me:  "That's exciting!  Where are you going?"

Grace:  "Safeway!"

Me:  *crickets*

Not only were they going to spend most of the day at Safeway, their classes were going on different days, so I was lucky lucky lucky enough to spend both yesterday and today at the very grocery store that's reduced me to tears twice in the last few months (To be fair to Safeway, it was my own neurosis that caused the tears.  Mostly.).  With 85 second graders.  Yesterday was Grace's turn.  They gave the kids Safeway aprons (to keep!) and let them make their own pizzas, with no mention of washing their hands, so I was scrambling to dump a dollop of my tiny purse hand sanitizer on all the kids' hands.  Then, they gave the kids all hot chocolate with whipped cream, took them on a tour of the store, and gave them giant chocolate covered pretzels and chocolate truffles.  The teachers at this point are shifting uncomfortably as they are considering going back to shool with a bunch of sugared-up kids.  The kids went into the break room after eating a couple pounds of candy and ate the pizzas they had made, and they also got cans of soda.  Woot! Soda!  I've never been happier to get off of a school bus in my life .

Now, Grace has a strong stomach and can eat copious amounts of crap without many adverse effects, so I'm glad her field trip was first so I was prepared.  Olivia has a very sensitive stomach.  She really can't handle much sugar and actually gets migraines from food additives like color dye, nitrates, and MSG.  She eats tiny amounts of food and always makes really healthy choices.  It goes without saying that she did not inherit her eating habits from me.  I told her not to eat the pepperoni (nitrates), but kind of let her choose what she wanted otherwise because I didn't want to embarrass her.

The other parents and teachers were in awe of my mad barf-catching skilz as I whipped a gallon Ziploc out of my pocket and handily caught her vomit at the end of the field trip.  Nary a drop on her Safeway apron, thankyouverymuch.