Christmas Recap

Our first non-American Christmas was certainly different, but it didn't suck, so I guess it was a win. It was definitely the first Christmas we made salsa with mangoes, limes, and avocados from our yard (okay, the avocados were from a tree outside our gate, so technically not "ours". Don't tell.

 The best way to eat a lime is upside down.

Does this look like Christmas Eve?

The kids started getting antsy in the middle of the day, so Mitch and I told them to do something constructive while we went for a walk. Because when the going gets tough, the parents get going, or something like that. They wrote a song while we were gone. I'm pretty sure it's going to be a number one hit. You can totally tell they put a lot of effort into it. At least ten minutes, anyway.

And that outfit Grace is wearing? We like to get dressed up fancy shmancy for dinner on Christmas Eve (and when I say we, I mean me and Grace, but everyone plays along, despite Henry 'mysteriously' locking his closet door and not being able to get a handsome shirt out of it).  Here is an example of what twin sisters will come downstairs wearing when you tell them to get all fancied up:

 Olivia pulled that skirt out from the back of her closet, where it was wadded in a ball and stuffed in a toybox. But hey, it's the first skirt she's worn all year.

 Dayum, those bejewelled dangly earrings look good with that turkey leg.

The Dad carves the roast beast, then carrots for the reindeer and cookies and milk Skol beer are put out for Santa Papai Noel (I think that's what he drinks. It's hot down here, man.).

The kids woke us at 5:45 sharp since we told them we'd lock them in their rooms 'til noon if they woke us a minute before 6:00 (apparently they thought there was a 15 minute grace period), and the boys claimed their electronics and disappeared with them pretty quickly. Olivia tore into her first gift. IT WAS A.......A............A......toothbrush?  Um, thanks, Mom and Dad. It's just what I wanted.

Whew. This is better:

 The girls also got a set of walkie talkies front Santa, but they're having a hard time using them, because every time they turn them on, the guards in the neighborhood come on whatever channel they're on and start yelling at them in portuguese.

We spent the rest of the day blissfully lounging around in our pjs and snacking on leftovers. I may or may not have had a bottle of champagne for breakfast, but in the spirit of Christmas, I shared with the guy I've been shacking up with.

We Mustache You to Have a Merry Christmas

Remember when I told you about how I was sick with fever and ordered a bunch of mustaches?  Well, when I mentioned to Mitch to expect the order to arrive in the embassy mailroom, he stared at me for a long moment and said, "Sometimes, I think you are ACTUALLY crazy." And then, every day I would call him at work and say, "Did my mustaches come yet?"  The lucky bastid.  Anyhoodle, guess what finally arrived?

Unfortunately, this is it for our Christmas card this year. We just didn't get our acts together in time to get them made and sent out like we try to do every year, so consider this your Holiday card, and sent with love. Unless you've arrived on this blog by searching for 'mustache fetish', in which case, move along folks, there's nothing to see here.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Spirit

It's really hard to get in the Christmas spirit this year, what with the tropical weather and flip flops and whatnot. It's not for lack of trying, either. Behold!

I know! It's groovy, right? When we first learned we were going to South America and a live tree would be out of the question, I immediately went out and bought a white artificial tree. My reasoning was, if I'm going to go fake, I'm going to go all out, much like the cast of Jersey Shore.  And I luuuurve it. It was a little sparse (what do you expect for a tree that was $15 on 75% off clearance?), so I filled it in with white feather boas. Did I mention I love it? My traditionalist husband, however, does not. That's why you see the dumb green tree in the background. It was supposed to go into storage, but the evil moving company sent it here instead of our bed, so Mitch and I each get our own tree the kids get to enjoy two trees. Mitch's tree has all our family ornaments on it. It's actually just the top part of our ginormous 9 foot tall tree we used to put up in the entryway of our house. When we had a house. This sucker weighs a lot (about as much as the mattress of a king size bed!) and won't be coming home with us.

Hanging ornaments is exhausting work. Let's end the series of tree shots with one more of Whitey:

Ahhhhh. That's better. What's funny about this tree is that when kids come over they always love it, and adults are all, "Oh. You have a white tree. That's......different."   And Mitch smirks because he doesn't love it. Oh, he'll love it soon, though. If he knows what's good for him.

We also got two boxes of garlands that were supposed to go into storage, as well.

See? Fake pine garlands just don't go with palm trees and sunshine.  We've been watching all the holiday DVDs we brought, and I got out our stockings, but this is the first time since we got married that we don't have a fireplace. What to do, what to do?  Aha! I spied an item we have no use for....

A coat rack. Mirror rack? Coat mirror?

Embassy pancake breakfast with "Santa", can you help me find my Christmas spirit?

Nope, especially since my teenager was home in bed and I had to bribe my 11 year-old with $5 to take this photo with his sisters.

Eggnog latte, can you help me find my Christmas spirit?

Nope. Since it's not even real eggnog, it's a mix I got from Amazon to try and simulate the real (and by real, I mean a carton picked up in the dairy aisle at my local Safeway) thing.

Christmas mix in my ipod, can you help?

Nope.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, can you help? And why are you lined up for class pictures?

Nope. How about the school holiday program?

Okay, I admit that I did have a little Christmas spirit after seeing all those kids singing their hearts out in English and portuguese.  And seeing all the fifth grade boys stifling their giggles at the phrase, "Don we now our gay apparel!" was pretty amusing. But you can also be sure I was concerned about all those Santa hats and the spread of lice  *shudder*. 

I'm sure I'll find my Christmas spirit soon. The kids are out of school on Thursday FOR FIVE WEEKS (sorry, I had to type that in all caps to convey my feelings about such a long break), so we'll have lots of time for holiday baking and being together. Every day. FOR FIVE WEEKS.  Anyhoodle, think of me, all you people in the frozen north, as you are scraping the ice off your windshields. I'll be down here in Brazil, sitting on my patio with my fake pine garlands, drinking my iced 'eggnog' latte, trying to get my Christmas spirit on as I rub sunblock on my shoulders and wait for the gardener to arrive. What? the shrubs are beginning to block my view of the lake.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

...a very  reigned-in Christmas.  Usually we like our decorations dialed up to eleven.  Two main Christmas trees, little trees in the kids' rooms, Christmas dishes in the cupboards, and Clark Griswold Mitch does up the outside with enough lights to power up a small nation.  We even hung lights in the treehouse last year.  Since we no longer have the acreage or the big house, and in preparation for a life on the move, we donated most of our holiday decorations and lights before we left Whidbey Island.  We kept our ornaments and a few things we really liked, and it feels surprisingly great.  I worried that the kids would miss all the crap, but they were so excited to see all the ornaments they've made or picked out over the years, I hardly think they've noticed.  I admit, I do miss driving up to a beautifully lit house at night, but we have a wreath on the door and you can see the tree in the window, plus, I can grab a bottle of Christmas cheer out of the refrigerator if I need it, right?

The requisite posed photo op of decorating the tree. Jack is putting on his happiest of faces so we can all see the joy he feels spending time with his family while his screen privileges have been revoked.

Gracie helped me decorate and she had a pretty adorable idea.  If you've seen the move, "Elf" you will get it: the jar says, "Buddy don't eat thease [sic]!"

And that's it, the extent of our decorating this year.

I like to have my shopping done early, so I had the kids finish their lists.  I generally have them ask for just a couple of things they really want.  Here is the list Jack presented to us.  How did I get such a smart-assed teenager?  Shut up.

I can't wait to see the look on his face when he opens the box of meat, My Little Pony, and carton of cigarettes.  Or maybe I'll just get him the handsome sweater. Especially after he tampered with my list and misspelled it, to boot.