Wednesday, April 8, 2015


Yesterday was my last day as a Human Resource lady. Hopefully, it was also my last day going to work alongside machine gun-wielding soldiers and bomb dogs. You never know. I actually didn't hate HR. I like making people happy, and HR is a good place for that, if not a great place to get your creative juices flowing. Anyway, I am now officially unemployed. Yay me! Suck it, University of Southern California! Because if you don't have a job, you don't have to pay for college, right? That's the way the American college system works, I'm pretty sure.

The movers have begun packing up the house. I have two sick kids with fevers and vomit rockets, because of course I do. The events of the last month have wiped out all of our reserves.Thank gah for Netflix. We are officially looking towards the future and what our life will be like out from under the State Department's thumb. Awesome. That's what it's going to be like. Frickin' awesome. The free water in restaurants alone is going to be a game changer. Oh, and State-issued Drexel Heritage gold brocade sofa? You can go ahead and shove yourself right up your own ass. Whoops! Sorrynotsorry. Got a little carried away. As one does when it comes to Drexel.

It's not all beer and Belgian chocolate around here as we prepare to depart, though. I am facing a dilemma, and I need your help. I haven't lived in the U.S. for a long time, and I only know the name of one Kardashian. I've never seen a Housewives show. My friend Claire left an US Weekly behind when she breezed through Brussels last month and I didn't know anybody in it. I basically have about two items in my repertoire that I can talk about. Politics (and talking about that can get you killed these days) and how I much I hate camping, which is maybe too random. Just the other day we were watching "Wild" and Mitch was all, "We have to hike the Pacific Coast Trail!" And I was all, "Do they have a Four Seasons every few miles?" The girls were into it once they saw all the Pinterest boards for "Glamping". By the end of the conversation we had found a renovated airstream on ebay but then decided it was too much work and that was the end of that backpacking nonsense. Killer of dreams: Level-EXPERT. And apparently I am also a penis expert, according to a Buzzfeed quiz I took last week:

Too bad I can't put this on my resume. At least for the kind of job I'm seeking.
Jealous, much? Since being an expert on penises is really only an appropriate conversation topic for a small demographic, I'm basically not fit for mixed company. So, be good friends and tell me what I need to know about American pop culture. OH! Tropical diseases. I know about tropical diseases, too. Do you guys think potential new friends would like to hear about parasites?

camping/glamping/four seasons, pacific coast trail


Connie said...

We moved back last summer not knowing crap. That's all you need to tell people, that you're new and don't know crap. People are very helpful and will tell you all the things. Important stuff, for example, like Marylanders like vinegar and Old Bay crab seasoning on french fries. Or, at least the guy who told me this likes fries this way, but hey(!), we were conversing! (and fries served like that is actually pretty tasty)

Claire Vorauer said...

Just keep me on speed-dial if you need help with pop-culture. I'm there for ya.

Nomads By Nature said...

That um.. knowledge quiz....weird! My score was modest, but I did recognize Cappadocia's Love Valley photos -interesting tour/hiking spot that it is. I am envious of your Drexel free existence and looking forward to more of your stateside adventures. For the record, tropical disease/ailments is always a conversation category for the win.

Larena said...

youll get caught up in the grocery store line. I'm on the Olympic Peninsula. found your blog just scrolling by. welcome back to WASHINGTON.