I usually wake up several times a night and check my messages. Mitch knows I'm a little psycho about the danger he's in every day, and he's very good about leaving me frequent updates so I know he's okay, then I usually can go back to sleep. My 3:45 am message was this:
"All is well here. Consulate Herat is being evacuated to Kabul. No Americans were harmed. 2 Afghan consulate security and 1 police were killed. Undetermined number of Taliban were all killed. (All of them). I'm fine. No activity here."
Today is not one of the days I was able to go back to sleep. I turned on the news and hit the internet. After I read everything I could about the attack on the US Consulate in Herat this morning, I spent the next few hours lying wide awake in bed with my thoughts. Is bringing diplomacy to parts of the world where your life is constantly on t he line worth it? Is there any Xanax in the house? Did I remember to bring the dog in last night? What if Kabul is next? What if they go for a 'soft target' and hit Brasilia? Will the gardener get the hint of a bucket and sponge left by my car and wash it for me before I go to work? I need to remember to pick up lightbulbs at the commissary. Why hasn't Mitch called me so I can hear his voice? Why is level 29 in Candy Crush so flipping unbeatable? Did we make the biggest mistake of our lives?
Finally, the alarm went off and I tried to pull my shit together to wake up the kids. I had to tell them what had happened and reassure them that all was okay, that their Dad wasn't even involved. As tempting as it is to pretend nothing happened, I know that they go to a school full of diplomat kids, all of whom know their dad is in Afghanistan, and chances were high that they would hear of a "US attack in Afghanistan". Also, I had to do it without bursting into tears. I put on my big girl panties and was casual and quick about it. And they were fine. Mitch finally called, and everyone got to talk to him before the bus arrived. The gardener showed up and he did get the hint about washing the car.
I am doing okay. Turns out, there was Xanax in the house.