Saturday, May 7, 2011

Reasons I Deserve Breakfast in Bed

1. My daughter has spent every cent she's had for the past several years on stuffed animals, yet I still have to cover all of them with a blanket each night so they're not "looking" at her when she's sleeping.

2. I know all the retailers that make pants for ultra-skinny kids and socks without seams.

3. I de-ticked the dog AND removed a broken wire from my kid's braces today with kitchen scissors.

4. I spent two days tracking down some non-skanky shorts  for my girls.

5. Every morning, I make braids for my daughter that are tight, tight, tight. I also spray tea tree oil water in my kids' hair to repel lice (old wives' tale? probably).

6. Barf. I clean it up. Frequently.

7. I got an e-mail message from the Fairfax County Public Library saying there was poop on the "Invasion of the Gym Class Zombies" book and they were charging me $18 for it. I am pretty sure it did not come from my house, but the book drop. Then again, how much of an ass will I look like fighting that? So, I'm paying it.

8. I've lived in four places in the past year with the closets and kitchens getting progressively tinier.

9. I've saved a lot money for the family by buying stuff on sale. Yesterday alone I saved about $65 on a hair-be-awesomer product. Mitch always has a nice grimace-y smile when I greet him in the evenings by saying, "Guess how much I saved today?"

10. I have moral, kind, empathetic, and funny children. And I want them to slave away making me a meal for a change.

Happy Mother's Day to my own awesome mom,  and to all you lovely mothers out there.


Rich said...

And a Happy Mothers Day to you, Whitehead. You're one of a kind and we love you...Dad

Heather said...

Happy Momma's Day! True confession from this Momma - I am fairly certain that the library book poo came from our house (even though we live a good 200 miles away from Fairfax County). I found poo - as in human poo (probably baby, but still! Gross.) on my oh-so-awesome-I-can't-believe-I'm-really-finally-getting-this-gorgeous-purse about 2 weeks ago. ::sigh:: This kind of thing happens way too frequently. I deal in poo with the frequency you deal in barf. So, I admit it. We probably desecrated that poor book.

Kate said...

Heather~I knew it wasn't our poop! Happy mother's day.

Connie said...

Happy Mother's Day, you DO deserve breakfast in bed!