Little Things That Are Dumb After Packout

No straws for my iced coffee.

Horribly unAmerican-sized, borrowed coffee mugs:

Having no shoes but Havaianas to wear out in public (don't worry, I haven't lost my mind--packing no shoes was entirely deliberate wink-wink).

No laundry soap. After Googling "can you launder clothes with shampoo", I begged my reliable neighbor, who came through with the suds.

Blogging on an iPad.

Eating dumb food that I never wanted to eat in the first place, which is why it's still in the pantry. Stupid fad superfoods of gross dumbness.

Mint Chip

Breakfast when you are a bad mom and are trying to use up all the food before you fly out.

Moving Day(s)

The move was one of the smoothest we've ever had. I think having a year to prepare helped. I can say that we are traveling without junk for the first time...uh, ever? Of course, my version of junk versus two eleven year-old's versions of junk aren't entirely the same thing. We were WAY under our weight allowance this time. I got rid of about 1/3 of my shoes (I KNOW!) and carefully stuffed the toes with tissue paper and nestled them in their traveling boxes. 

I love how they even took off their shoes. So civilized! 

Meanwhile, while the movers sleep like babies, I am suffering contusions and third degree burns from the Departure Kit sheets the embassy provided us. I feel certain they are woven from steel wool.

Anyway, at least I know where Henry's retainer is:

See you on the other side, and if you know of good orthodontist in Washington State, let me know, 'mkay?

Back in the Swing

He's been back a week and it's actually surprising how quickly everything has gotten back to normal. As normal as things can be without my firstborn. I've still only heard from him in one word responses, but through bank account stalking I DO know he purchased a video game. Wouldn't you think, if you had time to play a video game, that you could spare ten minutes to call the woman who survived 36 hours of labor and gave birth to you with no pain relief? Whatever, dude. Maybe I'll dole out your tuition payments in exchange for Facetime.

Friday was my last day of work. I didn't cry or anything (like a boss, yo. A Xanax boss), but I am still kind of sad about it. Getting paid (albeit an adorable amount) to write whatever I want is a pretty sweet gig. And now we just have two weeks left in Brazil. Not much to do, everything is sold or donated. Even my beloved Kitchenaid Pro is gone. The kids are still in schoolthankthelord, so it's just the two of us, jockeying for counterspace in my bathroom. I guess I'll start a new exercise regime?  HAHAHAHAHA. I kill myself.

Well, That's Over

The waiting is the hardest part.

He's home. This is the post in which I expected to say, "Everything is wonderful, we are just enjoying being together, good food, good wine, blahblahblah".  And it IS wonderful to have him home, but I can see that there will be a recovery period. Right now, mostly all we are doing is sleeping. I have a year of missed sleep to catch up on and he has jetlag and I'm sure a bit of PTSD. I've never slept so much in my life. I know he wants to talk about the things that happened over there, but I've asked him to wait a few more days until the ground we are on stops quaking. He keeps trying to lure me outside to the sunshine, but I still feel happiest in my cave for now.

The kids, of course, are thrilled to have their dad back, but it's also business as usual for them. Middle School is very dramatic, and soandso likes Olivia but he's a jerk and whatshername said Grace has a crush on this other boy, but they ARE JUST FRIENDS.

The dog is happily following Mitch around everywhere, but he is still traumatized by Jack's disappearance and spends a portion of every day walking in and out of his bedroom, whining. Okay, I do it too. So sue me.

In the next few weeks we will be packing out and headed to the States for our required home leave. I am in disbelief that the year is actually over. I would like to say that we thrived, but for now it's enough to just say we survived and leave it at that. Also, why does he keep using my bathroom?