So, I use the above torture device to smooth out my hair. Also, it's good for sizzling burns on the forehead and for melting stuff in it's general vicinity. My long-suffering husband DESPISES my Instyler, because of the third-degree burns and the fact that it's always out on our tiny little bathroom counter. More on this in a minute.
There's also been some glasses drama around here, because I'm an old lady with rapidly declining eyesight who can't see near or far. A few years ago, I purchased my current glasses that I love. They unfortunately were designer glasses and they cost as much as, oh, I don't know, like, a cow or something. While I was in the States last month, the plan was to renew my prescription and get some new glasses, but due to my crappy eyesight, I couldn't get the glasses in time before I left. I was secretly glad about that, because I couldn't find any glasses I love as much as my current ones, and I figured I could squint and stuff to make up for the declining vision. Also, I'm not allowed to buy glasses that cost as much as a cow again. Four kids to put through college, blahblahblah.
At this point, you're probably wondering, "What the heck does a non-medieval torture burning device have to do with Kate's glasses?" And now that you just read that sentence, I bet you know. Yes, kids, while I was in the shower, my glasses were busy getting melted by the Instyler. They weren't even touching it (much), the glass lens just bubbled up from proximity. The melty part is right in the middle of the lens, so it looks like someone wiped boogers across the surface. I know! Imagine what that thing is doing to my hair! So, I was kind of scared to show Mitch, who has had it with me complaining about not finding any cute glasses online and also with me complaining about forehead burns. But then I remembered what Ralphie did when the Red Ryder BB gun broke his glasses in A Christmas Story. He cried, and his mom was nice about it. And since I was so sad about my glasses, it was pretty easy to just let the tears flow when I went to tell Mitch about my glasses. He thought I was dumb for crying over a pair of glasses I needed to replace anyway, but was disappointingly unmoved by my tragic loss of fashionable eyesight.
Anyway, I finally got online and looked at shoes for a few hours (no need to judge or question my methods), then I ordered some dumb glasses.
Related: The rainy season (obviously to blame for my glasses getting burnt) has also caused our ceiling fans to leak water. Pretty sure that can't be good, but without glasses I can't see the puddles anyway.