Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Brazil, will you go with me?

Circle your answer:
  • Yes
  • No
  • Maybe
In honor of Valentine's Day, I've decided to make a little Junior High-style Valentine for Brazil. Not sure if Brazil will be my boyfriend or not, but we have been flirting A LOT lately, and Brazil did put his hand in the back pocket of my jeans when we were walking together last week. Also, I may or may not have let Brazil see my bare arms out in public, so you be the judge. It hasn't always been puppies and rainbows with me and Brazil. We've had a pretty rocky time of it, in fact. For example, Brazil has some frat buddies I can't stand being around. They're constantly buzzing in my ears and getting drunk on my blood.  Also, Brazil has been keeping me from being with many of my loved ones, and I can't help but feel resentful about that.  However, Brazil has been slowly trying to win his way in to my heart, and I confess that I've found myself sucked in by his charms.  I've even made Brazil a little list of things I love about him.  Let me count the ways...

Your weather.  Oh, how I love your warm, warm days and nights and beautiful sunshine and gorgeous thunderstorms and torrential downpours.  Rarely too hot, rarely too cold. Although I confess to wearing my Corn Palace sweatshirt when it dips below 72 degrees.

Your beautiful birds. Toucans, owls, and parrots in the backyard? Yes, please.

Your parking thugs.  I laugh every time I go into a parking lot and a guy will give me the thumbs up, signaling that he will 'keep my car from harm' for the low, low price of a few reais. 

Monkeys. What can I say?  They're adorable and they melt my cold, black heart whenever they wander into the yard.

Your pace.  Brazilians now how to r-e-l-a-x.  And that is something I'm good at as well, so I think we are a compatible couple that way.

Your love of children.  Children are welcome everywhere, any time of day or night. Most restaurants have playgrounds, and if they don't, no one seems to mind a few kids running around while they're eating.

Mango trees wherever you look. And lime, banana, avocado, and more mango.

Your friendly peeps. Aside from the aforementioned frat buddies, that is.

The crazy things you can buy on the side of the road.  Towels, food, drinks, brooms, garbage bags, flags, hammocks, scary clown dolls, electrified tennis rackets for killing frat buddies, you name it. Well, except stuff you can't get here, which brings me to my next point.

You are making me very resourceful, Brazil.  I can now make my own sourdough bread, english muffins, bagels, and pita bread. I never throw anything out, because I might need it and probably won't be able to get it when that time comes. You're good for me that way.

Your creatures. They're amazing, and at times, terrifying. I've learned to never pour flour or rice blindly into a recipe bowl, and I've gotten practically blasé about finding a bag full of crawlies. I watched a colony of leaf-cutter ants take down my new jasmine plant within hours of putting it in the ground. I've also seen spiders so big that my dog barks at them. Would I say your creatures are a plus or a minus on this love note?  Mais ou menos. We hate getting bit, but we are seeing some pretty amazing wildlife that we would never see back home.

And the last thing I love about you, but certainly not the least, Brazil, is that I get to buy lots of cute sandals to make up for not getting to wear my boots anymore. 

Now, I'm not saying I won't dump you when a shiny new country comes along, especially if he has sharp cheddar. I'm just being honest, here. So, what do you say, handsome?  Will you be my Valentine? I know my husband won't mind if I two-time him with you, because he's wanted to bring you into our relationship for months now. He's kinky that way.


Lisa said...

Ah. It's just a matter of time now until we catch you and Brazil making out behind the bleachers.

Anonymous said...

Your father says, "Don't trust him!"

Anonymous said...

From Aunt Kimmy...This sounds like a Twilight movie!

Kate said...

Aunt Kimmy, what gave it away? The bad plot or the terrible acting?

Bfiles said...

hmm...Brazil is male?

this is adorable.

James and Sarah Talalay said...

Very nice, makes us wonder if India is an equally worthy valentine (yes)!

Anonymous said...

What a great tribute to Brazil! Makes me want to go there esp in the midst of winter! You truly have a gift for writing! Get published, my dear!

Jill said...

You absolutely have me in stitches. A day w/o your humor is a dark day indeed!

Connie said...

True romance! :)

Heather Dray said...

Hmmm, my Egypt hasn't been treating me so well lately. He's judgmental about my clothes and won't let me eat bacon on my burger. This I can handle. But he gave my dogs mange, and that I cannot forgive.

Maybe I'll break up with him and steal your Brazil.

Chelsea said...

It was great to read this today! Brasil is on my husband's bid list, and we're seriously considering it. Your post makes me want to move there tomorrow!

Nomads By Nature said...

Love this love letter!